New Year Hope and Reflection

Ah, a new year!  I have always enjoyed contemplating what wonderful blessings the Lord might have for my family and  me in the coming year.  It's a kind of fresh start, a new hope!  This past year, God fulfilled two long- awaited answers to prayer. 

First, at the beginning 2013, I learned that my children's dad, who nearly 30 years ago, broke up our 18 year marriage through infidelity, had finally come to know Jesus as his Savior and Lord.  When I heard an apology from him for the first time, I knew it was real.  The start of 2013 held many shed tears of joy over his change of heart; something I had prayed for since I first met Jesus personally.

Second answer to prayer: 5-1/2 years ago, I began praying that God would move Carolyn and her family from Florida and California to Colorado, where Kristi and I live. Just over a month ago, they returned to new jobs and a new home here in the Springs.  Joy fills my heart as only a parent could know.  We had our entire family at my home for Christmas last week - first time since 2007.

The elation of these two answers to prayer have reaffirmed my belief that prayer is never futile, but is a powerful privilege.  And we should never give up on presenting our requests to God, trusting He knows what is best (Philippians 4:7). 

For most of my Christian life, I have annually set aside some time during the final week of the year to reflect on how I can grow deeper with God.  I ask myself:  Are my relationships God-honoring?  Am I growing spiritually?  Am I sharing my faith fruitfully?  What weaknesses, bad habits, strongholds of the enemy or sin need the most Spirit-work in the coming year?  As I prayed about it, the Lord was always faithful to point out what needed His gentle "tweaking."  Sometimes at the end of the year I found I had gained small victories. At other times, sadly, I had failed to overcome certain sins or habits!  How often my frail faith became evident during those end-of-year reflections.

This week, as I asked God about what to share in a new year's blog, He reminded me of one I'd written the year after we learned Mark had terminal prostate cancer.  As I re-read it, I marveled at prayer's enduring influence and clout, not only when life is good and fair, but when it takes us where we don't want to go.  Here is part of that blog:

Last year as the new year began, I was praising God that we'd had one of the best years of marriage; however, I was also anxious about what may lie ahead.  Mark and I were awaiting the results of a biopsy. By mid-January we learned that Mark had aggressive prostate cancer, in the final stage.  Further testing showed he had several tumors in his bones; the cancer was had already metastasized, and the doctors gave no hope for recovery.

We have now walked through one full year of  that trial.  Though Mark's cancer is wreaking havoc in his body, and in my emotions, somehow, somewhere deep inside, we are both growing in grace and grasping how impossible this trial would be without the prayers of others, and the  constant presence of Christ to strengthen us and give us courage.

A couple of weeks ago, as I thought of what may lie ahead this coming year; I was battling depression and the urge to panic.  For the first time that I can remember, I was experiencing the new year blues.  After a friend prayed with me, the peace of God began to settle in.

It was then that I read through my prayer journals.  You know what I saw?  Fear assuaged through the power of God's Word.  Hope renewed after praying with a pastor or friend.  God's constancy amidst emotional and physical ups and downs.  He dried our tears as we focused on His truths.  Our load was eased by the prayers, sacrificial gifts, and comforting words of friends, both near and far away, and by our "family" here at church.

We've developed a better understanding of our weaknesses and about how helpless we are to change our circumstances.  But God is not powerless!  As Mark and I continue to pray for healing, we are also praying to be in the center of God's perfect will, whatever that may be.  And when medical reports offer terror and dread to our feeble, fleshly "hearts," it's then that I know God will beckon us to once again lay our burdens at His feet. 

So, are we looking forward with hopeful expectation to the new year?  To be honest, not really.  But we are focusing on developing two good disciplines that don't come easy for either of us:  1) Living one day at a time, receiving from the Lord all that He offers by way of hope, joy, peace, and even laughter, and  2)  Striving to hang on tightly to our loving Father's hand through prayer, and by faith, not fear, trusting He will not give us more than we can bear.   I love the lyrics of a song I heard this week:  "I don't know about tomorrow...but I know Who holds the future, and I know He holds my hand."

May I  encourage you (as the Lord reminds us)  to focus on those words, and on God's Word when you experience the new year blues or any trials this year?  Our God is faithful—He alone gives us the strength to trust Him!  Remember Zechariah 4:6, "Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord."

May God carry us all in 2014 by His grace, through prayer and faithfulness to His Word, believing He has us in the palms of His hands...always.

Idolater? Surely Not I!

We typically think of an idol  as a foreign god, such as Allah of Islam, Buddha of Buddhism, or one of the thousands of gods of Hinduism.  As Christians, it is unthinkable to consider worshiping one of them because we  have come to know the one true God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who declared in the second of the Ten Commandments: “Thou shalt have no other gods before Me.” 

Although I worship Jehovah God, I recently found myself the willing participant of an insidious form of idolatry.

Five years ago, my daughter Carolyn and family transferred from Colorado to California, then to Florida.  It was a difficult time for me.  She had asked me to move to Colorado and then after a few years, left.  I was so disappointed.  My daughters and grandchildren had become my all.  Now this precious family was out of the reach of my arms.. 

I have spent my vacations flying to their home for Christmas and spring vacation, in order to have some special time with Austin, Kamryn, and Lillian, who were 3, 5 and 12 when they moved away.  Those short visits were never enough.  I missed the shopping trips with Carolyn, and the laughter she and Kristi and I shared when we were together.  And most of all, I so wanted to leave a legacy for my grandchildren, and invest in their hearts for God?

I tried to find ways to grandparent long distance, but not being one who likes the phone or even Skype, it hasn’t been the best scenario.

As time passed since Mark’s death (2003), I have become increasingly lonely.  Since I hadn’t met anyone whom I could call my own,_, someone to build a life with, I missed my family all the more.  I sometimes went through phases of questioning my purpose, and wishing life were different.  Although I have a wonderful ministry and appreciate it tremendously, and have a good relationship with Kristi, who is in the same city, the hole in my life where the children should be, impacted my happiness and even my joy.

What does all this have to do with idolatry? I heard a message by Pastor Jimmy Dodd (pastorserve.net) last weekend.  His teaching was entitled, “Twisted – Confronting Empty Idols.”[1]  I sat down in my usual place in the sanctuary and, as I often do, asked God to speak to me by His Spirit.  And, oh, did He.

Pastor Dodd had quoted Ken Sande, who described an idol this way: “An idol is any desire that has grown into a consuming demand that rules our hearts. It’s something that we think we must have to be happy, fulfilled and secure.”  Jimmy added: “If you find yourself feeling uncertain, abandoned, anxious, humiliated, or depressed, you may have an issue with idols.”  OUCH!

I asked the Lord: Could loving a family; needing a family, be an idol? I recognized, to my dismay, that I had not been simply loving my family.  I had been counting on my family to fill a need in me…a need for joy, purpose, and hope.  I prayed and prayed that God would unite our family in one city. As mentioned, idolatry is “…something that we think we must have to be happy, fulfilled and secure.”  It hit me hard:  somehow, I had slipped into a spiritual malaise where God was not enough for me. 

I sat in that pew and repented of putting my purpose, hopes, and deepest wants on my family, instead of my Lord.  I was ashamed that I had been worshiping the idol of children and grandchildren.  My spiritual eyes were opened, and I recognized that I had gone beyond loving my family to depending on them to be for me what only God can be. 

When I got home from church last Sunday, I pondered and prayed over this disturbing realization.  I asked the Lord to fill me with Himself, with His “enoughness.”  I promised to love and trust Him whether or not He chose to unite our family in the same city again.  I let it go into His loving and all-knowing care.  The result was peace, a peace that had been eluding me.

Three days later, Carolyn called me at work (she never calls during our workday, but only texts or emails).  I wondered what was wrong.  To my joy, she was bursting with happiness. I could almost see the smile on her face.  “Mom, Mike got the job in Colorado!  He got a two-grade promotion.  We will be moving back to Colorado Springs by Thanksgiving. And we don’t plan on moving again!!”

On hearing this, I had to pinch myself.  I was afraid I would wake up and find I had been dreaming.  “Thank you, Jesus for this blessing.”  Later, as this wonderful news sank in, I asked the Lord, “Was I the one causing you to withhold Mike’s promotion because of my idolatry?  Did you wait until I repented to give our family this gift?   I don’t know the answer to that question, but I do know He will withhold blessings because of sin.  This was a humbling revelation, to be sure.

Today, I smile a lot!  I praise often!  I am humbled and grateful for God’s amazing grace.  And I’m aware how easily our desires can become idols, separating us from the true God who deserves our full heart and complete submission to His will, no matter what it might be. 

Read
1 John 5:18-21 - We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the One who was born of God keeps them safe, and the evil one cannot harm them. We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one. We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true by being in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life. Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.

Reflect

- Meditate on the verses above.  The very last verse warns of idolatry. It seems to come out of nowhere. What is it about the previous verses that would prevent falling into idolatry?

- Is God revealing, as He did with me, an area of idolatry in your life?  Remember the meaning? "An idol is any desire that has grown into a consuming demand that rules our hearts. It's something that we think we must have in order to be happy, fulfilled or secure."

Respond

Ask God to highlight any area of your life where He is not sovereign Lord. Then repent, and trust Him to free you from that si.  If you have no areas of idol worship, praise Him that He is enough.

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[1] To watch Jimmy’s August 18^th message, go to http://vimeo.com/72754748.

Image Bearer

Genesis 1:27, “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

In Ann Spangler’s book, “Praying the Names of God,” she explains the Hebrew meanings of the many names for God in scripture.  In Genesis 1:1, “In the beginning God created…” the Hebrew word is Elohim (e-lo-heem), meaning God of gods, the highest of all, the majesty of the one true God.  As I read the creation account with this description of our Creator in mind, and as I ponder the amazing details of separating the sky from the earth, the land from the waters, and filling the seas with beautiful creatures, I am in awe of His divine plan and purpose.  It took unearthly imagination and power to make a world where God's children could thrive, survive and enjoy Him, along with His beautiful creation.

When Genesis 1:27 states that God created us in His own image, it does not refer to His physical image, because God is Spirit (2 Cor. 3:17).  Instead, being created in God’s own image means we were given the qualities God possessed, such as intelligence, compassion, kindness, forgiveness, love, humility, joy, beauty, creativity, courage, and more.

We sometimes see these beautiful qualities in ourselves; but for many of us, they are hidden beneath a selfish facade.  We struggle with the flaws of humanity as a result of sin, the fall from grace.  We can be hard-hearted, lack joy, and refuse to forgive, hate, dwell in anger, deny our creativity, envy, live in fear, and focus on our own needs and wants.

A question Ms. Spangler asks in her book is this:  “How would your life change if you lived with the constant awareness that he (God) created you to bear his image?”

Think about it.  God created us in His image, to be to the world a mirror reflection of God.  To be “Jesus with skin on” to a confused, lost, and hopeless world that doesn’t know Him.

If I were to bear the reflection of God to others, would they only observe the sins that are often a showcase of the Christian’s life?

· 
·      Gossiping with malice about an acquaintance, family member, or coworker
·      Inappropriate reading, viewing, or writing (web, books, texts, emails, Tweets, etc.)
·      Lacking purity
·      Being unkind

·         `       Using coarse or foul language

Although these examples come short of the abundance of sinful characteristics we can display everyday, they gave me pause to ask, “Would God do that?” Would He yell at his children, talk badly about others, dwell his thoughts on provocative or dark materials?  Would he lack purity, cheat, or use foul language?  Of course not!

If we were to truly bear His image, the world would respond to us and to Him.  Bearing His image means when others see us, they see God with the qualities He exhibits.  We have an enemy, the devil; we wear weak flesh; we try and fail to resist the temptations of the world around us.  However, reflecting God’s glory is somewhat like an old couple who after many years together have started looking alike.  It is by the power of God’s Spirit and in relationship to Him, that our “looks” change.  As we allow the Spirit to control us for the sake of the Father, we will bear His reflection more and more everyday.

Read

Genesis 1:1-31

Reflect

·      How would your life change if you lived with the constant awareness that God created you to bear his image?  Be specific. 

·      Are you willing to risk those changes to bring glory to God?

Respond

Prayer:  Lord God, Elohim, majesty, God above all gods: In my heart, I so want to reflect you in my everyday activities and attitudes.  I can’t do it on my own, and I know you don’t expect me to. Remind me every day to spend time with you so that as I grow older, I can look more like you, reflecting your image, for your glory.

Where Does Love Go?

He left over two decades ago.  At the time, it was one of the most painful losses I’d experienced.  Tossed aside was an eighteen year marriage, a “complete” family for my children, and the plans we had made for our future.  It took two years for me to feel “normal” again.  I had to let go of it all, deny hope of reconciliation, and move on.

Lately I’ve begun to wonder, after a tearing apart of two people, where does the love go … the love my husband Rich and I shared.  The love that I fought to maintain?

Many years have passed since then.  I married again, and was subsequently  widowed.  After the children were grown, contact with Rich was sporadic, only hearing about him through them.  Last month his sister informed us that Rich was very ill with an infection in his leg, resulting from a disease of the arteries.  First his heel was removed.  But the infection had spread to his toes, which were amputated two weeks ago.  It was then that I started agonizing over his pain and loss.  I began adding prayers for peace and healing to my prayers for his salvation, which had begun when I came to know the Lord 40 years ago.  

However, the sadness and worry for him that I was suddenly experiencing made me wonder why. Why was I on the verge of tears for this man whom I rarely see and don’t love anymore, except as my girls’ dad.  Sure, we had maintained respect for each other all these years, but the love was long gone.

Where does the love go?

Following his surgery an MRI and blood work were performed to ensure the infection was removed.  Sadly, the infection was instead creeping through the bones of his right leg.  His very life was in danger now, with the only hope being amputation of his leg above the knee. 

This past Friday night he adamantly refused the surgery.  It didn’t make sense to us. He would say, “It’s all in God’s hands.”  The entire weekend I was a wreck, distraught, anxious, and praying for healing over and over again.  Weeping.  I would also ask, “What’s going on, Lord? Why am I so upset?”

At the core of my angst was concern that he would die without Jesus. Feeling helpless being 1200 miles away, I called and asked my brother and his wife to go visit him in the hospital, since they live nearby.  I also called on a local pastor friend in his town who sent two different pastors to pray with him.  Between these 4 people, I was sure to find out where his heart was spiritually.   People ask me, why do you still care?  Strange question.  No matter what our past, forgiveness was long ago.  Besides, how can I not care whether my girls father will be with Christ in eternity?

Even when we reject Jesus,  He still remains faithful to continue to pursue us, guide us, lead us, and love us.  His love is not something that comes and goes, as ours does.  His is agape … selfless, pure, strong, unchanging God-love. He is love; he doesn’t hide it or deny us of it, ever.

Romans 8:38-39, For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

If it were not for this unexpected crisis with Rich, I wouldn’t have asked the question, where does love go?Nor would I have received the answer:  Because of Christ in me, and for no other reason, love remains.  Love that is not natural, but is born of the Spirit.  God loves people through us.  The love is His. I am incapable of it without Him.

This point of clarity helps me to more fully grasp the awesome nature of God who reveals his love freely always, it is tireless and perpetual.  Our goal should be to love like that, should it not?  Whether for an ex-spouse or wayward family member, or for someone whom we struggle to forgive.  Agape love goes a long way to heal hearts and restore relationships.  It requires letting go of hurts, seeing people as eternal beings who will either be forever with Christ or not.  And most of all, it requires being filled with God’s Spirit, who does the loving for us.

Ready for the good news?  Two days later Rich agreed to the amputation and is healing very well.  Even better news:  Following my brother’s and the pastors’ visits I was told that Rich proclaimed knowing Jesus as His Lord and Savior.  He had expressed it in many ways with his sister and others, before and during this crisis.  I don’t know how long it has been since he put his faith in God; that doesn’t matter.  I am just incredibly happy to now be able to call him my brother in Christ. 

All praise to God, who doesn’t waste any painful situation to teach us lessons about ourselves and Himself, and to reveal His perpetual agape love to us. To God be the glory!