Christmas - What Love!

As we approach another Christmas, a time for celebrating the coming of our Savior, my thoughts and study have led me to ponder the relationship between God the Father and His Son, Jesus.

Two of my nephews became first time fathers in the last few months. Tom had a son and David had a daughter. It’s obvious they are crazy about these precious children, so much so that I am confident they would give their lives for them. My grand-niece and -nephew’s fathers have hopes and dreams for the success, health, fulfillment, goodness, and wholeness of their kids.

Likewise, as I read scripture and the account of the birth of Jesus Christ,I see no different delight in the Father at the human birth of His one and only Son. However, God the Father’s purpose in sending Jesus to become a baby and then a man, was for Jesus to ultimately take on the sin, sorrow, failings, brokenness and depravity of humankind; to allow the sinless Son of God to experience the disgusting thoughts and acts (yours and mine) of humankind, all while being separated from His Father on the cross of Calvary. I wondered how a loving Father could intentionally plan and allow the torturing of his Son’s body and the pollution of his human mind and soul during those hours on the cross.

The Scripture is resplendent with answers. Love allowed it. The love of a Father for the world, His creation. John 3:16-17 says, “For God so loved the world that He gave is one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world but to save the world through him. “
In John 17, we see the love of the Father for His Son. Jesus had confidence in His Father’s love as he prays to His Father in verse 26, “I made known to them your name, and I will make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them and I in them.” There was never any question in the mind of Christ about the Father’s love for Him, nor His purpose in being born into the world he himself created.

In John 12:23 and 27, Jesus said as he was preparing to be crucified, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified…Now my heart is troubled and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour?’ No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!”
I can imagine a conversation after the Fall of Adam and Eve between the persons of the Godhead.

“We want a relationship with our creation, to know them, to love them; for them to know and love us. They need our strength and wisdom to navigate life. We want them to know the love that we have for one another; to experience the joy of having us at the forefront of their hearts, minds, plans and decisions. But their disobedience in the Garden proved their propensity to do things their own way; it revealed the weak wills of our creation. Now their sin has eternally separated them from us. Only a perfect sacrifice for that sin will provide an unbroken relationship with us. The sin must be atoned for. However, being sinful, they cannot atone for sin themselves. Only pure sinlessness and undiluted holiness can take it on. No amount of human self-effort will do it. None of their self-loathing or continual confessions will solve this problem. Not even good works or selfless living can accomplish what only holiness can. Who is worthy of carrying the burden of sin for the entire world, to free mankind from eternal separation from us? We alone are holy. We alone are worthy. We alone are God. One of us must make atonement and take the punishment they deserve.’ Willingly the Son offered: ‘I’ll go. I’ll do it. I can’t bear the thought of them dying in their sin and being separated from us for eternity. I’ll go. Send me, Father. Send me.’”

As inventive as that scenario might be (compared to how it must have happened), it shows our utter helplessness to get right with God on our own.

Christmas is about a heavenly plan put into action.
First His birth.
Then His life.
Next His death.
Then His resurrection.
God became man.
Man became accepted.
God was glorified.
Man was freed.

At this season, I pray our focus will remain on the truth that Christmas is about redemption, sacrifice, hope, eternity, and most of all, love – love between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and their love for us - to God be the glory.
Merry Christmas!

Read
Revelation 5:1-7
1 Samuel 12:22
Luke 2
Isaiah 53
Colossians 2:21-22

Reflect
Do I celebrate the gift of Jesus in this Christmas season?
If not, what can I do to change that personally and in my family?
Do my children (or grandchildren) know the Christmas story or is it all about getting gifts?
Am I living in gratitude for Jesus’ gift of salvation?
Do others know that Christmas is my home is about the gift of Jesus to the world?

Respond
Father, how grateful I am that you loved us so much that you allowed your Son to be born a God-man to take on the sins of the world. I celebrate you this season and always, as I remember and proclaim the love I have for you, that you first had for your Son. I accept the sacrifice of Jesus on my behalf and desire to live a life that will glorify you always. By the strength that Jesus offers, Amen.

Is God Sovereign over Disasters

The small country of Haiti has suffered unimaginable losses in the last couple of years. First, the tsunami that killed thousands and destroyed homes and businesses, leaving hundreds of children orphaned. Then, just as it seems that relief efforts had eased their burdens somewhat, we learned that they are now plagued by cholera. Cholera! The worldwide epidemic that killed many thousands of people around the world in the early 1800’s.

Upon hearing this, reflections of God’s sovereignty in the midst of tragedy came once again to the forefront of my heart. If God is good (which he is), and if he controls all things (which he does), then how can these awful things keep happening to the Haitians? The answer concerns all disasters, whether a roof destroyed by a falling tree or an earthquake, tornado, the devastation of a hurricane or others.

Psalm 135:6 says, “The Lord does whatever pleases Him.” Does it please Him to allow the spread of cholera on an already devastated nation? Ezekiel 18:32 reads, “For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent and live!”

So, if God takes no pleasure in the death of anyone, then what good can come from a tragedy such as Haiti is experiencing? In Haiti ’s recovery we have witnessed the influx of people from all over the world to provide relief. This is a country once fiercely closed to outside influences. Humanitarian agencies and Christian organizations and individuals have offered comforting arms of love to the Haitians, along with practical help. Because of the tsunami the country is now open to experience the love of God through other nations and people. Untold numbers have turned and are turning from their religious practices of Voodoo[1] to the worship of a God who sent His only Son, Jesus to carry mankind’s sins to the cross (read of one organization’s story of conversions at http://revivalmedia.org/2010/04/30/many-haitians-turning-to-christ-1st-may-2010/)

From this fact alone, I am comforted that nothing is purposeless or wasted with God. God knows the human heart and His passion for all to come to repentance. He states in Lamentations 3:31-33, “For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For He does not willingly bring grief to the children of men.” Romans 8:28-29 bears this out, “For all things work together for the good of those who love God, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son…” The “conforming” Paul mentions, happens most often as a result of pain. We all wish for a life of no pain, but the result would be that we would be more less likely to know our need of Him, and ultimately be less conformed to the image of Jesus.

There is a clear argument through scripture that God is not weak when tragedy transpires. He is not been trumped by the devil, or cries, “Oh no!” when the tragedy strikes. He allows and causes what John Piper describes as “an occasion for God to rejoice in the demonstration of his justice and his power and the infinite worth of his glory (see also Romans 9:22-23)”[2]

All of our heavenly Father’s acts, even his allowing a tsunami and cholera, is a demonstration of his justice in proving the worth of his glory. eHWho are we to judge God? We are mere man and He is the eternal sovereign, immutable, omniscient, holy and good Father. His love and motives cannot be questioned.

He knows every heart. He alone knows what it will take to draw others into his kingdom. He knows the power of His Spirit to turn hearts to himself with the ultimate goal of our salvation for His glory. He lovingly provides his grace to carry us through any sorrow; that is His gift when life is shaken to its core. Grace is provided freely through Jesus for all who would receive it. We choose whether to curse God or accept His grace like one who peacefully sits in His lap as a little child.

It would takes years of the study of scripture and the writings of godly men like John Piper to not only understand, but write about the multi-faceted character of God and the ideology of His workings; and to grasp how the interrelation of the role of Satan and the facts of one’s own responsibility fit into the pleasure and purposes of God in all He does. This blog simply expresses my heart and my understanding of one miniscule aspect of the character and flawless determinations of God regarding disasters.

Piper sums up his submission to the purposes and sovereignty of God when, following the death of his mother in a freak car accident where his mother was nearly decapitated, he wrote, “I never doubted that God was sovereign over this accident and that God was good. I do not need to explain everything. That he reigns and that he loves is enough for now.”[3]

And that is enough for me this side of heaven. I pray it is enough for you.


Prayer

Holy Father, you are Lord of all. No matter what happens in my life, I know I can count on your love at the core. Help me to have faith by your grace, when tragedy strikes in my life. Carry me, soothe me, strengthen me. For those in Haiti , I pray they would know who you are, and that your love is more powerful than a tsunami, disease, or sorrow. Comfort them, I pray. Amen.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[1] Countries and Their Cultures. Http://www.everyculture.com/Ge-It/Haiti.html

[2] Piper, John. The Pleasure of God, Sisters, OR, Multnomah Publishers, 2000, p. 73

[3] Ibid, p.75.

Sacrifice of Praise

Today is my 38th spiritual birthday.  On October 24, 1972 I put my trust in Jesus as my Savior and Lord while attending a Bible study in my local Catholic church.  Recently, God gave me a spiritual birthday gift that I'd like to share with you.

When I was 12, and my mother was 35, she suffered a brain hemorrhage.  For the two years she was paralyzed and hospitalized before her death, I watched closely as my father and mother coped with that horrific and painful season.  Mom had been a happy, vivacious, and friendly person.  She was the glue that held our family together, as are most moms.  Her absence from our home created a huge vacuum for my 3 siblings and me.  I won't go into the details of those years in this article, since I'm including it in my book, but I did want to share something I discovered about my parents and their trust in God through this tragedy.

While visiting Carolyn in Florida recently, I was excited to find an album I had given her which had some clippings of my father's over 400 published short-stories. Some were fictional articles and others non-fiction.  There were stories about mountain climbing (which made me laugh since he was an indoor kind of guy), and nostalgic articles about his homecoming after the war.  Some were researched topics, such as the Shroud of Turin and others written from his experiences in an Irish-immigrant family.

As I was flipping through the articles I found one describing an organization called Catholic Union of Sick in America (CUSA).  I remembered that my parents had joined it during Mom's illness.  It was a kind of FaceBook for the sick.  Except back then, ill members would use snail mail to write to one another for emotional and spiritual encouragement.  Whenever a letter would arrive from another ill member of the organization, Dad would sit on the edge of Mom's hospital bed, hold her hand, and read it to her. They would then pray together for their ill companion.  Although she couldn't speak, I was told Mom prayed along in her heart, often with tears trickling from the corners of her eyes.

What touched me in reading the article, was a deeper realization of my parents'  growing faith during those horrendous years of suffering.  The article spoke of their sense of abandonment by friends and family and the temptation to feel that God had abandoned them, too. 

He wrote regarding CUSA members, "...once disconsolate and despairing sufferers have learned to give meaning to their agonies...they have been reborn to an understanding of the why of their pain; they have heard the words of the apostle Peter, 'Do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal you are suffering ....'"  The sick come out of themselves and find a chance for tranquility and resignation to the will of Almighty God.  They come to realize that their pain is linked with the agony of Christ on the cross, and that by suffering patiently they are indeed not abandoned by Him, but very close to Him..."  He went on to proclaim, "We suffer for a purpose." 

Dad then shared the prayer that he and my mother and other CUSA members prayed daily: "Dear Lord, here is a new day You have given me in which to love You and help others to love You as well.  So that my love for You may be ever stronger, help me to spend the hours of this day in Your Presence.  To offer as small sacrifices, some of my own little likes and dislikes; help me not to waste my time in idle pursuits but instead to busy myself to the greatest possible extent in works which are pleasing to You.  And above all things, help me to love and accept Your holy will.  Lord Jesus, in giving me this cross of my illness, it was Your desire to bring me nearer to Your divine heart and especially to offer my cross...help me today not to waste a single of the trials, both large and small, which are the lot of the invalid, and which if borne with patience, can obtain so many graces.  I offer them to You with all my heart ... bearing courageously and even joyously the cross which is ours." 

In reading my father's words, I discovered that they were strengthened through their association with other ill members who also turned to God for peace and joy.  It is clear to me that my Mom's suffering physically and emotionally, her inability to speak, to hold her children, to laugh, or to kiss her husband, was offered as a sacrifice of praise to God.  Likewise, my father's loss of normal family life with his beautiful wife and the mother of his four children was submitted to Jesus as his sacrifice of praise in submission to His will. 

I cried when I finished the article because it gave me insight into the hearts of my parents which I had not fully realized until now.  As I remember my struggles of the past, I am more aware that what Dad and Mom taught my sister, brothers and me was strength to endure trials through submission to a loving God.  I know that their prayers and faithfulness are what led me to my own personal relationship with Jesus Christ 38 years ago today.  Happy spiritual birthday to me!

Read
Hebrews 13:15
I Peter 4:12-13
James 1:2-5
Isaiah 40:27-31
Romans 5:3-5
Reflect

1. Do feel abandoned by God?
2. Are you ready to submit your unhappiness and pain to God as a sacrifice of praise?
3. If you are minimally reading the Bible and get little out of going to church, it may be time to let go of your self absorption and turn to the One who can fill your heart with joy. 

Respond

Father God, The pain I am enduring is excruciating.  I don't feel you are near or that you even care.  Show me how to turn from my constant dwelling on my sorrows and put them into your hands.  If Sandy's parents, Tom and Barbara Dowling could do it during their terrible ordeal, then I know that with your help I can do it too.  I submit________________ to you, for you to work in it according to your will.  I pray this by the power of the Holy Spirit, in the name of my Savior, Jesus. Amen.

When Dreams Die...Tough Questions

Broken dreams stink! I know, I’ve had a few, as I’m sure have you.  Dreams die when loved ones die or reject us. Dreams fade when jobs don’t fulfill, careers go awry, homes and businesses are lost, doctors give bad news, or children are a disappointment.  During those times, dreams splinter or smash to smithereens. 

Do we blame God when dreams die?  Sometimes. Often.

In the midst of our disappointment, difficult questions crop up and lead to other hard questions. They're the kind our faltering faith tells us we should never ask. Nevertheless, our hearts silently weep in disappointment with God. We ask God: Didn’t you put that dream in my heart in the first place?  Didn’t you open the doors of opportunity so I could pursue it?  Didn’t you provide the financing (or other need)?  Wasn’t it You, God, who brought that person into my life, or who gave me that child?  If the answer is Yes, and the result is a broken dream, then other questions beg to be proffered. Questions that seem pretentious.

1. Does God really care; does He even love me?
2. Does God truly want to bless me or would He rather withhold that which would fulfill the desires of my heart?
3. Is God taunting and manipulating me like a marionette, a puppet on a string,  putting the prize in my hands only to take it away?

Even after knowing Jesus as my Lord for almost 40 years, I find myself in a place I've never allowed myself to go - asking similar questions.  The theological ramifications of these answers are far too deep and wide to be investigated in this short blog (even if I knew how to answer them).  However, the obvious truths, those I've clung to for years without even realizing it, and which have recently satisfied my longing for answers, can briefly be tackled here.

Let’s address question one first:  Does God love me? 

This is a no-brainer.  The answer is found at the Cross.  Jesus cares.  He loves us!  He went voluntarily to the Cross of Calvary to be tortured, humiliated, beaten, spit upon, and killed so that we could not only have a relationship with God through Christ, but a clean slate and a life of joy forever in His presence.  His love for us knows no bounds.  The Cross is proof of His love.  John 3:16, 17.  When life is hard and He seems distant, that's when I want reassurance of His love.  That's when I return to the Cross.

Second question:  Does He want to bless me?

This was the most difficult to get my head around. I looked at all the losses and death surrounding my life; the disappointments and shattered dreams and asked, Is my life meant to only bring You glory through my pain?  Do you want to bless me on earth, or is the blessing coming later in heaven?  What is blessing?  Is it giving me what I want or is it providing what I need?

I took a really good look at Hebrews 11 – for the first time, really.  And I saw that there were loving, godly, committed followers of God who did not have their dreams realized in this life. They were sawn in two, beaten, imprisoned, stoned, lost loved ones, and more.  Verse 13 says, “They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth.”  Verse 39a: “These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised.  God had planned something better…”

I like that last part, "God had planned something better..."  That's hopeful.  Blessings are not always material.  Nor are they always tangible. Those people of faith mentioned in Hebrews 11 lived for the promises of God...the blessings promised their forefathers.  In our American culture of quick reward and instant gratification, it’s very difficult to wait on God to bless us, whether in this life or the next. Faith. Patience.  Rest. Sacrifice.  These are qualities that are learned through practice. They are blessings to be acquired by walking in the Spirit.

Third question:  Is He taunting or manipulating us by giving us something and then taking it away?  It feels like that sometimes, doesn’t it?  He gives us a child who then dies.  He helps us build a business only to have the economy destroy it, and on and on.  In order to look at this clearly, we must ask another question:  Did God promise we would not have losses or trouble in this life?  Look at what Jesus said in John 16:33, "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."   

When we experience sorrow and disappointment, when our dreams die and our hope is souring on the rocks under our feet like old milk, remember this: It is only through suffering that we become desperate for God.  In being frantic for his intervention, we reach out to Him for help.  In response, He moves into our lives to offer us Himself, His love, and His peace. The result is that He becomes our hope, our lifeline, and our salvation. 

Finally, as we depend more and more on Him to shape our dreams according to His plans, and as we deepen our relationship with Him, the most wonderful and lofty thing happens -- He becomes our ultimate Dream.  What could be better?!

**********************************************

Below are some Scriptures for meditation and prayer.  Perhaps you’ll want to use this in your times alone with God this week.  I’d love to hear what He tells you.

Read

• John 3
• Hebrews 11
• Matthew 5
• Matthew 11:28

Reflect

• What broken dreams need a touch from the Savior?
• What passages of scripture touch your heart with regard to God's love for you?
• Have you felt teased by God?  Take a fresh look at it from the perspective above.
• Will you make a fresh commitment to not put your hope in the world, but in Him?

Respond

Father, my heart longs for what I cannot attain.  My desires urge me to find fulfillment in everything other than you. I too often put my hope in people and things.  Draw me to your heart in order that my hope and  fulfillment will be found in my relationship with you.  You are all I need.  Amen.

A Season of Sadness

I used to joke that my spiritual gift was “suffering.” Of course it was tongue in cheek because I am keenly aware that others have and are going through so much more pain than I will most likely ever experience. Having said that, it is also true that we can’t compare our sorrow against someone else’s. It’s our pain. We own it. It’s valid in its own right. The important thing is what we do with it. How we handle it.

Following my surgery in June, I wrote an update (Scary Prayer3) praising God that not only do I not have cancer, but that during that season I was profoundly lifted up by the prayers of friends. Since that update, I have been unable to write, except in my own journal. Why? Soon after the surgery I began feeling a deep and uncontrollable sadness, an unidentified sense of loss. In my desperation to understand why I was on the verge of tears all the time, I spoke with a counselor friend who suggested that I ask God to show me what losses or wounds needed God's touch, perhaps to be grieved, as well as what lies of the enemy I was believing that needed the light of God’s truth.  As I prayed and sought counsel, the reasons for the sadness started to emerge.

Over the last couple of months, God has shown (and is still revealing) very old wounds that I had not fully grieved. It is so odd that after all these years, suddenly I’m faced with pain from the past. Why now? I don’t have an answer, except to say that most likely, during the several weeks of my contemplating the possibility of dying from cancer, God was answering your prayers and mine for my healing. God wants our entire being to be whole: spiritually, emotionally and physically. Ecclesiastes 3 states that for everything there is a season: “A time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance.” This must be my season.

After my husband, Mark, died of cancer in 2003, I grieved his death for years. However, there were many painful memories of our life together that I refused to look at. I would shut those memories out as soon as they started to pop into my thoughts. I avoided thinking of them so that I could prevent the sorrow the memories brought with them … until three years ago.

I had been asked to speak in a chapel service where I was working at the time. I thought it might be a good idea to share a part of my story that would give my coworkers an idea of where I came from and what God had done for me during a difficult time in my life. During my 30 minute talk, I could feel the stress in my body. The emotion was so deep that afterward I thought I had wept through the entire talk, but I hadn’t wept at all. After sharing, I left the room and within 10 minutes suffered a mild heart attack – the doctors called it Broken Heart Syndrome, which is caused from a “sudden emotional event.” In the days following the heart attack, it was clear to me that I needed help with this problem of avoiding tough memories…yet I did nothing about it.

One of my favorite things about our loving Father is that He knows our heartfelt needs and will orchestrate events in our lives to make a way to meet those needs. It appears He has chosen this season to open His arms to me and say, “Come to me, give me your pain, allow the grief, it will not kill you. I will heal you.”

At the start of this process, God led me to the Bible, the epistle of James, a book I had studied for months and had written a Bible study on 25 years ago. He spoke to me through a passage I knew well, but this time instead of it being an admonition to forsake sin and repent, it was a personal call for me to face the reasons for my sadness with Him by my side.

James 4:7-10 reads, “Come near to God and He will come near to you…Grieve, mourn, and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom … Humble yourself before the Lord and He will lift you up.” He was giving me permission to mourn.

Isaiah 43:19 is another passage that continues to give me hope. “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.”

So there it is, a background for future stories. As God permits, I will share what He is teaching me on this path of healing. I invite you to come along, to comment, to share what He is doing in your heart if you, too, allow Him to come in and heal your wounds.

By His grace and for His glory,

Sandy
August 28, 2010

Lessons from the Scary Place3

I’ve recently shared two of the life lessons God has been teaching me the last months as I faced several medical issues; here is the third.

When I was told I may have thyroid cancer spread to the lungs, I was at first frightened and numb, totally helpless to do anything about it. It was clear that this is one problem I wouldn’t be able to solve on my own. My desperate need for God’s touch, prayer from family and friends, and of medical understanding took over my emotions. It was possible that I might be facing the end of my life. However, in a matter of hours people started praying. My former churches spread the word to pray. My family, friends, friends of friends, and coworkers got on their knees. I learned later that hundreds of people were praying for me . . . and I was no longer afraid. God’s peace rained on me like cool refreshing water. During the entire 3 weeks that I underwent tests, poking, blood draws, x-rays and needle biopsies, and as I awaited the results, I felt pure joy, not an ounce of fear (well, that’s not exactly true…I had fear of pain during the lung biopsy). It was evident to me as I went about my daily routine like nothing was wrong, that I was experiencing Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” I am confident that your prayers of faith on my behalf kept the fear at bay. I was in a bubble of peace while others agonized in prayer for my healing. God was answering your intercessory prayers on my behalf.

During those weeks of waiting, God reminded me of the dozens of serious problems in which he had intervened and overcome in the course of my life; the protection He gave and still gives; the healing and hope He has wrought in my soul; and most of all, the promise of eternal life through His Son. In my heart, it boiled down to this: If He were to take me “home,” would that be such a bad thing? When it comes right down to it, isn’t that our ultimate goal—eternity with our God and Savior?

While you were interceding for me, I was meditating on God’s promises; His promise to provide peace as we trust in Him. He promise that the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. He vows that if we trust Him, He will give us the desires of our hearts. There are hundreds of passages we can claim as God’s promises. Not in a flippant, name it and claim it sort of way, but as a result of spending time with God everyday, praying His Word back to Him, adjusting our thinking to His, getting to know Him, interceding on behalf of others, and believing that every Word of scripture pertains to us personally.

Just before I entered the potential medical malaise, I was reading a book by Donna Partow in which she writes, “While sometimes God does say No, the clear teaching and example of scripture is that He much prefers to say Yes. Yet too often, we give up praying before we get to Yes!….God did not create prayer as an exercise in futility. He created prayer as a tool to bring heaven’s power to bear upon the affairs of the earth.”

My third lesson in the Scary Place? Never underestimate the power of prayer. One Christian praying has more power to move the hand of God, than a million unbelievers doing the same. The faith-filled prayers of Christ-followers reach His “ears” in a powerful way. Whether one lone voice or a stadium full; whether one alone in her home, or in a group of 3 or 4, heartfelt and faithful prayer was powerful enough to grab the attention of the Creator of the universe for the healing of one insignificant grandmother (me). Amazing. Although I think most of your prayers were said for my healing, God took your heart’s cries and created in me unbelievable peace and joy as a result. When we pray, our part is to have faith…believe in God’s promises. His part is to be true to His Word in response to that faith and those prayers. He will be…and He was! Four days have passed since having had my thyroid and parathyroid partially removed. The diagnosis? No cancer! (Now the question is this: Did He heal the cancer because you prayed, or were your prayers the instrument He used to bring us peace even though I did not have cancer?). There is no such thing as a futile prayer. Whatever God’s purposes in this ordeal, He is getting the glory because your prayers were powerful and effective! My heart is in awe of Him and grateful to you. I will never again believe that my lone prayer doesn’t matter. Because I know from experience it does!

Read
Psalm 32:1-5
Matthew 10:29
Matthew 17:20-21
Acts 4:32-35
James 5:15-18
Reflect
*Are you weary of praying for the same thing over and over?
*Do you believe God wants to say Yes?
*Find a passage of scripture on prayer, memorize it, and claim is a promise from God
*Who can you begin praying for on a regular basis?
*How can you draw nearer to God daily in order to strengthen your faith?

Respond
Our great and glorious God, how powerful you are. In our weakness you give us your strength. I am so blessed by friends who love me enough to bow the knee on my behalf. Never let me be unaware or uncompassionate when my awareness and compassion might cause me to pray on behalf of one of your children. Your love is beyond what I can fathom; for that I am so in awe of you.

June 20, 2010

Lessons from the Scary Place2

Just a few days before my scary news, I was seriously contemplating not writing any more devotionals. I didn’t know if more than a few people were reading them. During that time of contemplation, I received some scary medical news and decided to share it in a devotional, which would be perhaps my last one. Your responses were very surprising to me. I had received dozens of replies encouraging me not only that you were praying for me, but that I should keep writing; so many saying that they have been impacted by the devotionals in the past. Some begged, “please don’t stop,” almost as if they knew what I was contemplating (God knew)! Below is a copy of my personal journal as I walked through the process of understanding God’s will for me in this area of writing. It reveals the defeated state of mind I was in just prior to my cancer scare and how God used a simple question from my brother, as well as your loving responses, to point me back to God’s purposes.
Excerpt from my Journal, March 24, 2010

In the midst of the waiting to hear if I have cancer, my brother Mike called to pray with me and give me a challenge. He asked me to identify what God was saying to me about my destiny (not a word used a lot in Christian circles, but one which resonates with my desire to know God’s purpose for this time in my life). Mike said he would pray for me according to how I answer that question. Great question. If I can identify the answer to that question, it will give me the resolve to dream, and to work at fulfilling those dreams. Lord, what is my destiny? What are your dreams for me. I am sad to say that some ugly and negative thinking on my part has been going on for a long time. I have believed that:

•No one is interested in my writing
•I don’t have anything creative to say
•I’m too old be of value
•I won‘t live a long life
•I might as well retire, settle in, and just give up on my dreams

Lord, I see now that all these have been lies from Satan. My lack of confidence does not hinder You from using me, neither does my age or anything else. As long as I know the Word, I have plenty to share.

As I’ve been praying today, you’re telling me that I cannot give up on having purpose – a destiny! 2 Corinthians 5 (especially vss. 18-20) has been a clear call on my life since 2007 and it’s what I’ve been passionate about all my Christian life, since day one (10/24/72). It reads,

“All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.”

I realize now that this ministry of reconciliation has been and still is my destiny. So, however I choose to use it, or however God chooses for me to express it, my destiny (purpose) is sharing with others the message of reconciliation through Jesus. Whether it is done through writing, speaking, teaching, leading, evangelism or just living, it is my ministry to others, for God’s glory, in fulfillment of who I am – this alone will satisfy my desire for significant ministry in the lives of others. This alone identifies my purpose right now…my destiny for His glory. Thank you, Lord, for clarifying the truth:

•I am not too old (As long as I have breath, I have purpose)
•I am filled with God’s Spirit
•I am to do what He leads me to do and leave the results to Him
•I am to step out in faith and He will work

This journal entry best expresses the process I went through to abandon the lies of the enemy. That plan as Christ’s ambassador still involves encouraging and exhorting, through sharing and writing.

Eric Liddel, who ran in the 1924 Olympics said, “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.”

When I write for His glory, I feel His pleasure.
How about you?
•When do you feel God’s pleasure – for what purpose were you made?
•Now the challenge: What has God called you to do that ensures you will feel His pleasure?

I am grateful God doesn’t leave us to figure it all out on our own, but has put in each of our hearts a desire to carry out whatever his destiny is for our lives.

June 10, 2010

Lessons from the Scary Place

It has been 8 weeks since I moaned my way into the emergency room, knowing I was having another kidney stone attack. A CT scan to determine where the stone was lodged resulted in the discovery of 5 small lung tumors. Another CT scan to pinpoint the size and position of the lung tumors reveal a thyroid tumor The lung specialist was concerned I might have thyroid cancer spread to the lungs. I thank God for that scary place because He revealed three major life lessons to me which I’d like to share with you in 3 installments, starting with the first below. Because of their length, I will send the second and third lessons one week apart.

Lesson 1: The Oil of Hope

It seems I am continually tested in my faith with regard to finances. One would think that after so many years of financial woes, and having seen God provide, that I would have finally reached a point of continual trust in this area. Sadly, not so. One evening I spent a couple of hours sorting through the medical bills. I compared them to the insurance summary of benefits, noting that, to my dismay, at the completion of my tests on my parathyroid, I will reach my $8,000 maximum out of pocket expenses for the year. I racked my brain for a way to pay these debts. In my fury to get a handle on the problem, I considered an additional job and perhaps selling my house. When I had come to the end of myself and my resources, God said, “Let go.” I realized then that I had no choice but to give the problem to God and trust Him to provide. Isn’t it odd how we hang onto our problems trying to feverishly find ways to work them out, until we come to the end of our own rope of reliability before putting them into the hands of the One who has wanted to relieve us of the burden all along? So, that evening, with an attitude of helpless resignation, I took out my checkbook and wrote out a payment toward one of the smaller bills – a lab fee of $201.

As I was signing my name to the check, I suddenly had this incredible sense of God’s presence and peace, along with what I call a nano-vision (mind picture) of thick, pure, olive oil flowing abundantly into a very large jar. Now, I’m not accustomed to having visions, so when I do, I know it’s God getting my attention. I turned in my Bible to 2 Kings 4:1-7 for the account God was prompting me to read. In this story, a woman’s husband had died, leaving her with no resources. She cried out to the prophet Elisha (vs.1), “Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that he revered the Lord! But now his creditor is coming to take my two boys as his slaves.” In response to her plea, Elisha asked her what she had in her house (to pay the debt). She replied, (vs. 2) “Your servant has nothing there at all … except a little oil.” Elisha instructed her to send her sons to ask all their neighbors for jars, and to keep asking until they collected many. He told her to take her “little oil” and fill all those jars until there were no more to fill. With obedient faith she went into her house, closing the door behind her and poured and kept pouring her “little oil” into those jars…all of them. The oil did not run dry until the last jar was filled. With the profits from the sale of the oil, she could pay her debtor, and she and her sons could live on the sale of the remaining oil for the rest of their lives. God, in His faithfulness, provided a miracle and a promise as she trusted in Elisha’s wisdom and God’s power.

I could relate to this widow. She, too, was helpless to solve her problem on her own, but God had intervened.

The moment I put pen to check, and God brought this story to my mind, I knew without a doubt that He was going to provide for every check I would write. He put on my heart as a promise, that as I trust Him with my “little oil,” He will deposit the “oil of His provision” into my jar. I need not worry, He will do according to His promise to ensure my medical bills get paid. Really, God, you love me that much! Why did I worry? His presence and peace in our moments, days and years of financial vulnerability is of greater worth than any wealth or self-sufficiency we have.

As I muse about this sweet encounter with the Spirit of God, I am reminded that our Father hears each submitted plea for help. He responds with His promises to provide — and to my joy, He has already fill my jar with an abundance of oil – the oil of hope.

Read
2 Kings 4:1-7
Matthew 6
James 4:1-3

Reflect
- In what circumstances do you feel helpless?
- Have you asked God to intervene? If not, what is it that holds you back from asking?
- What can you do right now to set things right so that you will hear God’s voice and respond in obedience?
- Are you waiting and getting restless for the answer? Delve into His Word and receive His promises by faith, then let go.

Respond
Lord God, you are my provider. It is often in our helplessness that you want to show your glory and power and amazing love for your children. Help me to let go of it all and trust that you will take care of me. If there is anything in my life that is hindering my prayers, please show me, Father, so that I can set my heart aright with you and see your power.


May 2010

Unpredictably Predictable

Words like however and but are such nebulous, inconclusive conjunctions. They make a statement less sure. In my case, after waiting 3 weeks to learn whether or not I have thyroid and/or lung cancer, those words followed my diagnosis, making me initially unsure.

Today I met with my Pulmonologist who read both biopsy reports to me. The thyroid biopsy found no malignant cells. Woo hoo! Elation! Short-lived. The word, however, came next. However, they cannot say positively that I don’t have cancer in the tissues; But, we can presume the thyroid nodule is benign (huh?). I was referred my PCP to figure out what comes next (treat it, remove it, whatever – I’ll know soon).

What about the tumor in my lung? Those results were also very good. No malignancy was found in the tumor that was tested – Yay! Tears of joy and relief—again short-lived. But they can’t say for sure there is no cancer in my lung because there are five tumors, not one as I previously thought. Only the largest was tested. So, all things considered with my health, the fact that I haven’t smoked in 35 years, and the benign diagnosis of that one tumor, it seems likely I do not have cancer in my lung. Next steps: watch the five of them and see if they grow. I will have another CT scan in July.

I predicted that I would be saying to you today, “Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is!”[1] Instead, I am faced with the fact that this journey is not totally over yet. There is a major lesson in this scenario that is making itself obvious as I write.

Life is not predictable! What, in our average 77.8 year life span, can we truly count on? Truly rely upon—no questions, no doubts.

As I’ve been waiting and praying and resting in the Lord these weeks, I’ve been focusing on His promises … specific promises (some are listed below in the “Read” section). These we can count on because they are God’s words, and God is predictable. His Word, His character, and His residence in our hearts are predictable if we have put our faith in Jesus. He is a Father who sacrificed His own Son so that we could rely on and predict with certainty that no matter what life holds He is here, He is love, He will bring us through—on this side of eternity and on the other.

Isaiah 54:10: “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant (promise) of peace be removed, ‘says the Lord,’ who has compassion on you.” – That’s predictability! So with that in mind, I give my always-can-count-on-Him Lord my praise for this unpredictable yet superb outcome – no malignancies. I will continue to thank Him for His healing, as well as for you, my dear friends and faithful prayer warriors, who have consistently shown me your concern, love and support. Next time I will share how you have specifically impacted me through this process. I do thank God for you.

Read
Isaiah 40:21-26
1 Thessalonians 4:13-18
Ephesians 1:11-14
Romans 5:3-5

Reflect
Are you in a seemingly endless struggle with a fearful end in sight? How can God’s predictability get you through it?

Pray
I give you praise, my good and holy, loving Father. Thank you for the reminder that only you are predictable. That is because you are wholly true and fair and good, and everything you say and do can be counted on. Thank you for this good diagnosis and for carrying me through the fear and anxiety of what might lie ahead. Thank you for friends whose prayers moved your hand in my favor. You are good. You are worthy of praise and glory. Amen.


April 2010

Take A Breath

Writing spiritual blogs or devotionals is kind of a double-edged sword for me. On the one hand, in writing them I am privileged to sharpen my spiritual gift of encouragement (exhorting), while on the other I make myself accountable to you by striving to be more than words, but to live what I believe to be true. With that in mind, I’m not sure what you are about to read is really a devotional. It’s more of a journal, a reminder to me of what is true about our God.

In January’s devotional, “A Scary Prayer for 2010” I shared about my subtle move toward complacency in 2009. Life had been good, God had been blessing, yet I missed the nearness of Him that I felt during difficult times. I had challenged you to pray the “scary prayer” with me, and I heard from some of you that you did! That prayer involved asking the Lord to shake up our worlds and challenge us out of our comfortable, complacent lifestyles. We had no idea how He would do it, but by faith we put our relationship with Him back into His hands to do whatever He knew would be best for us (while praying at the same time, ‘Lord have mercy’).

I began to wonder if this dependence on Him would involve going on a short term missions trip to break my heart for what break’s His heart…that was one thought, and something I feel He is calling me to do. Another thought was, would more dependence on him mean leaving my comfortable and blessed lifestyle here in Colorado Springs to move to Florida near Carolyn and family, where I would need a job, housing, a church, and friends. I’m praying about both those challenges.

In the meantime, shortly upon finishing that devotional, I heard the Lord’s still small voice saying, “Simply lean in closer to my heart” — and I have. It’s been a wonderful couple of months of spending more quality time with Him, sensing more of His presence and counsel; seeing deeper into His heart for me, and allowing Him to take me to some tough emotional places in order to grow me beyond my present spiritual understanding.

The first real test of my resolve to lean on Him came yesterday. At 2:30 in the morning I woke up with terrible kidney and abdomen pain. I knew what it was. I’ve had two surgeries to remove or blast kidney stones in the last 5 months. Kristi picked me up at 7 a.m. and drove me to the emergency room where I was given morphine for the pain and a CT scan. As the doctor was going over the results of the scan with me, he informed me that I had a blockage from a 7mm stone, too large to pass, and that I needed surgery right away. After giving me a minute to absorb the news, he said, “Another thing…we found something else on your CT scan which you’ll need to have checked out in the next week or so. There is a mass on your lung that wasn’t there 5 months ago.” A MASS??!! On my lung?!

While recovering from the surgery today, I’ve had time to think about what may lie ahead. I am praying it’s something minor – perhaps residue from my recent bad cold, or from H1N1 in November. For the past couple of years I have had issues with breathing, conscious to take deeper breaths. Asthma has been to blame. Whatever the issue is with my lungs, God is in control; of that I am confident. I’m not scared yet, but I certainly am clinging to Him because whatever it is, a “mass” cannot be a good thing.

As I was thinking about it, a phrase from Lamentations circled my mind several times, “Though He brings grief, He will show compassion.” I opened my Bible and looked it up. The entire section reads, “For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though He brings grief, He will show compassion. So great is His unfailing love. For He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.”

I decided to focus more on the upside of the verse “He will show compassion,” and “So great is His unfailing love,” than on the downside, “He brings grief.” Been there, done that . . . not fun.

I will make an appointment for a more thorough CT scan this week to find out exactly what it is, but of course, cancer is the first thing that entered my mind, considering the past invasion of it upon my family. My sister and father both had lung cancer. My precious mom-in-law had ovarian cancer and died just 18 months after my sweetheart, Mark, died of prostate cancer. Yet, I won’t get ahead of myself. Whatever is down the road, God is even farther ahead on that same road, preparing a way for me. “He does not willingly bring affliction.”

Because prayer moves the hand of God, I’m praying. Interestingly, prayer is what the Lord put on my heart to spend more time doing and investigating in 2010. I’ve read one book and am about to start another on experiencing the power of God through prayer. Hmmm.

There is another passage that the Spirit keeps whispering to me today… Isaiah 41:10, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

I love God’s Word, don’t you? What comfort, joy and peace it brings.

I know I’m not alone in the “fearful anticipation” department. You also may have a frightening “mass” in your life today. We can both be confident that He is there with us as we face it. He wants us to be dependent on Him. He walks with us through our fears and sorrows and those things that get us all tangled up in anxiety. He asks us to give Him our burdens and to trust Him with the outcome.

I am confident that when a diagnosis comes back, I can count on His great love for me, as well as His truth, and His power – what more could I want? What more could you want? Let’s both take a deep breath and trust.

Read
Lamentations 3; Psalm 91; Isaiah 41; Matthew 6

Reflect
Remember how He has taken care of you in the past
Reflect on answered prayer
Rest in the truths from His Word
Trust that He knows what is needed in your life to draw you near to His heart

Respond
Father, I am confident that whatever “mass” I am facing today which might cause fear or pain, cannot overcome or overshadow what you offer me. You promise to strengthen, encourage, give hope, and fight the battle with and for me. Give me courage and wisdom in whatever lies ahead. I trust you. May your will be done. Amen.


March 2010