Just a few days before my scary news, I was seriously contemplating not writing any more devotionals. I didn’t know if more than a few people were reading them. During that time of contemplation, I received some scary medical news and decided to share it in a devotional, which would be perhaps my last one. Your responses were very surprising to me. I had received dozens of replies encouraging me not only that you were praying for me, but that I should keep writing; so many saying that they have been impacted by the devotionals in the past. Some begged, “please don’t stop,” almost as if they knew what I was contemplating (God knew)! Below is a copy of my personal journal as I walked through the process of understanding God’s will for me in this area of writing. It reveals the defeated state of mind I was in just prior to my cancer scare and how God used a simple question from my brother, as well as your loving responses, to point me back to God’s purposes.
Excerpt from my Journal, March 24, 2010
In the midst of the waiting to hear if I have cancer, my brother Mike called to pray with me and give me a challenge. He asked me to identify what God was saying to me about my destiny (not a word used a lot in Christian circles, but one which resonates with my desire to know God’s purpose for this time in my life). Mike said he would pray for me according to how I answer that question. Great question. If I can identify the answer to that question, it will give me the resolve to dream, and to work at fulfilling those dreams. Lord, what is my destiny? What are your dreams for me. I am sad to say that some ugly and negative thinking on my part has been going on for a long time. I have believed that:
•No one is interested in my writing
•I don’t have anything creative to say
•I’m too old be of value
•I won‘t live a long life
•I might as well retire, settle in, and just give up on my dreams
Lord, I see now that all these have been lies from Satan. My lack of confidence does not hinder You from using me, neither does my age or anything else. As long as I know the Word, I have plenty to share.
As I’ve been praying today, you’re telling me that I cannot give up on having purpose – a destiny! 2 Corinthians 5 (especially vss. 18-20) has been a clear call on my life since 2007 and it’s what I’ve been passionate about all my Christian life, since day one (10/24/72). It reads,
“All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.”
I realize now that this ministry of reconciliation has been and still is my destiny. So, however I choose to use it, or however God chooses for me to express it, my destiny (purpose) is sharing with others the message of reconciliation through Jesus. Whether it is done through writing, speaking, teaching, leading, evangelism or just living, it is my ministry to others, for God’s glory, in fulfillment of who I am – this alone will satisfy my desire for significant ministry in the lives of others. This alone identifies my purpose right now…my destiny for His glory. Thank you, Lord, for clarifying the truth:
•I am not too old (As long as I have breath, I have purpose)
•I am filled with God’s Spirit
•I am to do what He leads me to do and leave the results to Him
•I am to step out in faith and He will work
This journal entry best expresses the process I went through to abandon the lies of the enemy. That plan as Christ’s ambassador still involves encouraging and exhorting, through sharing and writing.
Eric Liddel, who ran in the 1924 Olympics said, “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.”
When I write for His glory, I feel His pleasure.
How about you?
•When do you feel God’s pleasure – for what purpose were you made?
•Now the challenge: What has God called you to do that ensures you will feel His pleasure?
I am grateful God doesn’t leave us to figure it all out on our own, but has put in each of our hearts a desire to carry out whatever his destiny is for our lives.
June 10, 2010
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