Words like however and but are such nebulous, inconclusive conjunctions. They make a statement less sure. In my case, after waiting 3 weeks to learn whether or not I have thyroid and/or lung cancer, those words followed my diagnosis, making me initially unsure.
Today I met with my Pulmonologist who read both biopsy reports to me. The thyroid biopsy found no malignant cells. Woo hoo! Elation! Short-lived. The word, however, came next. However, they cannot say positively that I don’t have cancer in the tissues; But, we can presume the thyroid nodule is benign (huh?). I was referred my PCP to figure out what comes next (treat it, remove it, whatever – I’ll know soon).
What about the tumor in my lung? Those results were also very good. No malignancy was found in the tumor that was tested – Yay! Tears of joy and relief—again short-lived. But they can’t say for sure there is no cancer in my lung because there are five tumors, not one as I previously thought. Only the largest was tested. So, all things considered with my health, the fact that I haven’t smoked in 35 years, and the benign diagnosis of that one tumor, it seems likely I do not have cancer in my lung. Next steps: watch the five of them and see if they grow. I will have another CT scan in July.
I predicted that I would be saying to you today, “Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is!”[1] Instead, I am faced with the fact that this journey is not totally over yet. There is a major lesson in this scenario that is making itself obvious as I write.
Life is not predictable! What, in our average 77.8 year life span, can we truly count on? Truly rely upon—no questions, no doubts.
As I’ve been waiting and praying and resting in the Lord these weeks, I’ve been focusing on His promises … specific promises (some are listed below in the “Read” section). These we can count on because they are God’s words, and God is predictable. His Word, His character, and His residence in our hearts are predictable if we have put our faith in Jesus. He is a Father who sacrificed His own Son so that we could rely on and predict with certainty that no matter what life holds He is here, He is love, He will bring us through—on this side of eternity and on the other.
Isaiah 54:10: “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant (promise) of peace be removed, ‘says the Lord,’ who has compassion on you.” – That’s predictability! So with that in mind, I give my always-can-count-on-Him Lord my praise for this unpredictable yet superb outcome – no malignancies. I will continue to thank Him for His healing, as well as for you, my dear friends and faithful prayer warriors, who have consistently shown me your concern, love and support. Next time I will share how you have specifically impacted me through this process. I do thank God for you.
Read
Isaiah 40:21-26
1 Thessalonians 4:13-18
Ephesians 1:11-14
Romans 5:3-5
Reflect
Are you in a seemingly endless struggle with a fearful end in sight? How can God’s predictability get you through it?
Pray
I give you praise, my good and holy, loving Father. Thank you for the reminder that only you are predictable. That is because you are wholly true and fair and good, and everything you say and do can be counted on. Thank you for this good diagnosis and for carrying me through the fear and anxiety of what might lie ahead. Thank you for friends whose prayers moved your hand in my favor. You are good. You are worthy of praise and glory. Amen.
April 2010
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